The Littlest Things
by A Girl Named Truth
Summary: All the feelings of perfection from years before flooded back, all the memories, but instead of bringing with them the bitter thought of being the past they brought with them the knowledge that that was gonna be their future. *FIN*
1. Chapter 1

* * *

**The Littlest Things**

* * *

A/N this is the first fic I'm doing that's gonna be longer than a one-shot so review will not only make me happy but it'll make me write more (and faster).

It's gonna be a Howince story and if I know me it'll end up slashy.

And like most of my other fics there's lyrics of a song going as a theme throughout (music inspires me a lot) and this one's is Lily Allen's Littlest Things (hence the title, lol)

Disclaimer: The Mighty Boosh belongs to the mighty Noel & Julian. The Lyrics belong to Lily Allen.

* * *

**Chapter One - Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing.**

* * *

Vince flicked through the pages of the issue of 'Cheekbone' that he had balanced on his knees.

He knew he shouldn't resent it, the fact that for once he was actually having a night in and everyone else had buggered off.

_Ok, ok so Naboo and Bollo did have a DJ set which they were being paid to do but what about Howard, they were meant to be best friends and yet he couldn't blow off Lester Corncrake and 'The 100 Greatest Trumpeters Of The 70's' to spend some time with him._

He knew he was being selfish because he never gave a toss that maybe people wanted to spend time with him when he went out but then they obviously didn't or they'd be here now.

He thought about calling Leroy but then he'd just look sad and he didn't need pity from someone who made slush puppies for a living.

It surprised him how much he missed Howard. All they ever did was bicker normally but at least it was something, something better than this lonely, empty place. And the lonely empty person sat alone in it.

He didn't notice himself becoming this hollow shell of a person until recently. Every morning covering himself in makeup, trying to fake perfection. Every night going out getting wasted while people told me what perfection I was.

_As soon as I realised I'd tried to stop. I Toned down the makeup at least, but nobody noticed . I started staying in, but nobody cared. Oh the shallow people I thought of as mates noticed alright, but not the people that mattered, not Howard._

He couldn't remember when things had started to fall apart at the seams with Howard.

Everything was fine back at the zoo, they we're a team, a duo, inseparable.

He really missed that.

**All the play fighting  
All the flirtatious disses  
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood  
I dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could  
We'd spend the whole weekend  
Lying in our own dirt  
I was just so happy…**

Then the door went, footsteps up the stairs interrupting his thoughts. If it was Howard… If it was him then he'd apologize for being such a twat recently.

But it wasn't it was Bollo and Naboo.

He loved them two to bits but they weren't anything compared to Howard and as weird as it was, he wished that it had been the jazz maverick that walked through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**The Littlest Things**

* * *

A/N Reviews will not only make me happy but it'll make me write more (and faster). Thanks to the people who've reviewed so far, you are all stars!

This chapter's more focused on Howard, unlike the first one which was Vince.

Disclaimer: The Mighty Boosh belongs to the mighty Noel & Julian. The Lyrics belong to Lily Allen.

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Dreams Of You And Me**

* * *

Howard straightened the line of pencils in stationary village. Seeing that it still wasn't straight he sighed and leant his head sideways against the cold glass of the cabinet.

"What are you doing?" Vince said as he closed the shop door.

"Ah, I was just checking the pencils, never mind that though, let me get the notebook and jot down today's adventure"

"What?"

"Why are you late, Vince, you should be used to this by now…it is a daily occurrence"

"Oh right, yeah, I was just dropping off my straighteners at Leroy's…he wanted to borrow them for this massive party he's having tonight,"

"Not you're Nicky Clarke's?" Howard was stunned.

"Yeah, why? Don't tell me you wanted them too? Coz it's too late now, knowing Leroy I'll never see them again."

"Vince are you feeling ok? You've lent your favourite straighteners out, you said the only was someone was to get hold of them was to prize them from your cold dead fingers so that they could straighten your hair before they buried you, they mean the world to you, Vince"

"Yeah, well there's more to be than a pair of stupid straighteners you know!"

And with that Vince stormed to his room, slamming three doors on his way hard enough to make the pencils shake out of line.

Howard sighed and sat down behind the counter, resting his forehead on the still cold glass.

He hated seeing Vince like this, it disturbed him to see people who we're always happy down. It was like something was wrong with the world. Well, with Howard's world anyway.

He couldn't remember a time where he hadn't had Vince there just like being his conjoined twin. No closer than that even, it's like they we're one person and Howard needed Vince to feel complete. He was the optimistic side to Howard's negative one. He was the nu rave to Howard's good ol' jazz. He really was like the other half of him…or he used to be.

He didn't know where it all went wrong, when Vince realised that he was too good for boring Howard who people thought was his father.

He remembered when he used to be Vince's mentor, Vince's friend, Vince's other half but he'd grown out of Howard, he's realised he's bigger than that, more shiny just like the star that Howard had always seen him as.

He wished they could go back to that because he'd never appreciated it at the time, he'd take Vince for granted, he'd put him down.

He didn't mean to, he was just scared than if he realised how good he was then he'd leave him and find someone better.

Howard never realised until they'd left the zoo that he loved Vince. Sure he'd said it in the tundra but he thought they were gonna be frozen and he panicked but he never actually fully understood it until all the good times became good memories, sepia like dreams compared to their arguments now.

**Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things  
Dreams of you and me  
It seems, it seems  
That I can't shake those memories  
I wonder if you have the same dreams too…**

But he knew Vince didn't. He was moving onto bigger things, better things.

It was only a matter of time before the ditched Howard completely for someone better.

Look at just now for example…he was changing already.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**The Littlest Things**

* * *

A/N this is the first fic I'm doing that's gonna be longer than a one-shot so reviews will not only make me happy but it'll make me write more (and faster).

There's only one more chapter to this but I'm going to Rome so I won't be able to post until I get back...sorry!

And sorry this is so short but the end chapter is longer.

Disclaimer: The Mighty Boosh belongs to the mighty Noel & Julian. The Lyrics belong to Lily Allen.

* * *

**Chapter 3 - ****I Know It Sounds Lame But It's So True**

* * *

After last night Vince had decided to go out, he wouldn't be missed anyway, look at what Howard had said earlier…they just thought he was some shallow bitch who's point in life was to have perfect hair.

He couldn't really blame them for that though, even back at the zoo he'd been touchy about his hair. He remembered that time he let Gideon touch it, the look on Howard's face.

No, he didn't want to think about Howard.

Because for some reason thinking about him at the moment made him feel even more empty, even more lonely.

He knocked back another drink. It was rather pointless though, he'd need an ocean to drown his sorrows. It won't help that he'd come home smashed and end up throwing up on Howard either.

_Why does he even bother with me? Can't he see what a failure I was? What a fake I was? Or am so good at being fake nowadays that I've even got him fooled._

_The one person I always wanted to be myself around. But then maybe if I am myself then he will see me for what I am and leave me._

_All these arguments we're my fault. It's my fault for changing. Maybe if I'd stayed the same, things between us would have stayed the same._

_If I could go back I'd never leave the zoo, I'd cling on to the gates like a two year old clings onto its toys. I wouldn't care that it was getting crap, that the magic of it had broken, I'd want to keep things how they were. Forever. Because it's special to me that way. We we're special to me that way. He's special to me that way._

_But I can't, we're broken, I'm broken and it's only a matter of time before Howard throws me away._

**The littlest things that take me there  
I know it sounds lame but it's so true  
I know it's not right but it seems unfair  
That thing's are reminding me of you  
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend  
Even if only for one weekend  
So come on  
Tell me  
Is this the end?**


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

**The Littlest Things**

* * *

A/N Reviews will not only make me happy but it'll make me write more (and faster).

Just got back from Rome and here's the lat chapter like I promised.

Here comes more angst but with it it brings slash.

Disclaimer: The Mighty Boosh belongs to the mighty Noel & Julian. The Lyrics belong to Lily Allen.

* * *

**Chapter 4 - There's No-one In The World Who Could Replace You**

* * *

It was gone three in the morning when Howard heard the door go. It didn't surprise him that Vince had gone out and got pissed again. But it still worried him. He'd have to talk to him about it sooner or later. It wasn't healthy. He seemed to drink as much as we argue nowadays and it was all that Howard could think of, that maybe their arguments were driving Vince to drink, that he'd seen he was stuck with him and this was his only way to escape. He'd have to talk to him. Even if it meant facing his worst fear ever…losing him.

"Vince?" Howard called, rather worried that he hadn't made it up the small flight of stairs yet.

"What?" The usual alcohol-induced coldness ringing out louder than his voice.

"You alright, little man?" Howard looked over the banister and saw Vince sat, head in his hands, on the fifth step up.

" mmm fine, just dizzy, don't wanna fall, look like a twat…even though I am" Howard was glad, even though it was probably a bad sign, that the coldness in his voice had been replaced by a warm but slightly slurred tone. Howard headed down the stairs and crouched down to Vince's level.

"What are you talking about? Come on, up you get" Howard gently guided the smaller man up, he looked so small, so skinny, too skinny really, too vulnerable in this state. Howard felt the need to protect him, even if he didn't want protecting sometimes.

They struggled slowly to the top of the stairs then Howard set him down on the sofa and sat in the chair opposite.

"All my fault" Vince said sitting up and looking at Howard.

"Well, if you do drink so much then you gotta expect it, sir"

"No no no no no, that's not what I-…" Vince stopped for a second, something seemed to break inside him. "Why do you think I drink so much?!"

"Because that's what you do now"

"Precisely! And why do I do that…for you! So you can get off telling me off coz it's because of you"

Howard felt something inside him shatter, he'd known that it was him, he didn't know why but he knew it was his fault. He felt the dreaded sting in his eyes and his vision blurred.

There was a few seconds of silence where both of them thought if they disturbed it then it would all collapse. Then as soon as Howard had worked up the inner strength to speak he was nearly drowned out by Vince.

"I'm sorry, whatever I've done-"

"I'm sorry, I know I've changed-"

"-whatever it is I'd take it back in an instant to make you happy Vince-"

"-and now I can't change back because-"

"-I'm just scared that you're gonna realize how much better you are-"

"-if I stop being this fake shallow idiot that I'm being now-"

"-and how you deserve better than me, but I don't want you to because then you'll leave me-"

"-because if you could see the real me you'd see how empty I am and leave-"

"-and you can't leave because I love you!"

"-and you can't leave because I love you!"

Both of them stopped trying to argue their cases then and they just looked at each other in complete silence, tears running thick and fast down both their cheeks.

"What?" Howard was the first to realize what had happened.

"I thought that you hated me coz I was shallow and fake and self-obsessed and not like I was back at the zoo when we were perfect and I thought you were gonna wake up and realise that I'm a waste of space that you're always being dragged around Topshop by and I'm always spending your money and I never give you anything back ever and I should, I should be better because I need you to stay with me…" Vince stopped and gulped down air.

**You'd take me out shopping  
And all we'd buy is trainers  
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us**

"Now your turn" He said quietly.

"Well I thought you'd see how good you are and leave me because I was boring and that I was nobody compared with all those people you used to take me out to meet and you never do that anymore so I thought you'd realized what you deserve and leave me for them" Howard couldn't see how Vince managed to make his speech with out breathing coz he had barely managed to say half of what he had.

**The first time that you introduced me to your friends  
And you could that tell I was nervous, so you held my hand  
When I was feeling down, you'd make that face you do  
There's no-one in the world who could replace you**

"Now what?" Howard asked not sure of what had happened in the last few minutes and still not clear on what was gonna happen.

"Are you gonna leave me?" Vince asked, bright blue eyes shining with a fresh batch of tears, just waiting for the worst to be said.

"Of course not, I'd never leave you, I couldn't…are you gonna leave me"

Vince swallowed, shook his head and managed to croak out "No you jazzy freak, I couldn't leave you either."

"Right…ermm so now that we've agreed that neither of us are leaving, stop crying?" Howard said, rather embarrassed now that he knew it had all been for nothing.

"I am trying you know!" Vince laughed , the laugh only slightly tainted by the tears that we're freely dripping off his cheeks.

"Hey, come here" Howard stretched out his arms to Vince.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to touch you, not here, not backstage, not even when we're buying hammocks?" Vince smiled.

"Just give me a hug or I'll come at you!"

Vince buried his head into Howard's shoulder just breathing him in and using his t-shirt as a towel. Howard wrapped his arms around him and stroked his hair. Then he realised what he was doing and took his hand away.

"Why have you stopped?" Vince looked up.

"Nobody is allowed to touch your hair, right?"

"You can…" He took Howard's hand and moved it back up to his head.

"it's not all that anyways…it's just hair"

"it's not, it's beautiful, just like-" Howard caught himself there, he was pretty sure his confession had gone unnoticed earlier and he didn't want to spoil the moment.

"Howard? Did you mean it?" Vince asked about a minute later.

"Yeah, you're hair's really nice"

"I meant earlier…"

Howard didn't say anything, not really knowing what to say.

"when you said you love me, do you or we're you just trying to stop me leaving?"

"Ermm…" Howard was having an inward panic attack and every cell in his body was screaming 'take the easy way out' except the main one, the heart.

"Coz, just so you know I meant it."

"Meant what?" Howard had been so busy trying to explain to Vince that he had missed most of what Vince had said.

"That I love you" he had to give it to Vince, he had more guts that Howard did.

"You said that?" Howard was trying to backtrack and think of what to say now.

"Yeah…and so did you but did you mean it like I did or we're you just saying it?"

Now would be the perfect time for a really romantic, soul bearing statement but he couldn't think of one so he did the only thing he could do to show Vince. He lifted his chin so their eyes met and kissed him softly.

"Of course I do, you electro poof!"

All the feelings of perfection from years before flooded back, all the memories, but instead of bringing with them the bitter thought of being the past they brought with them the knowledge that that was gonna be their future.

They we're still each other's other half

Only now…they we're together.


End file.
